the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
being pregnant is like rehab
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
