i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
