She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
