You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
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