and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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