My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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