Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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