NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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