Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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