Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
