Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I am mentally ready for anal.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
