I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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