I hate your face
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
