I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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