Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
