Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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