Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
