One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
