She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
