how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
