i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
