God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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