Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
