Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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