It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I need water and some morals
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
