So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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