Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
