Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
