addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
