maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
