so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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