Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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