Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
