Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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