Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Randomize
