Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
