i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Randomize
