i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
