Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Pants 0. Shit 1.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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