You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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