Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
