I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
