i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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