This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
