Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
there was a trapeze. enough said
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
