Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
