If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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