Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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