So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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