please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
