If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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